goldenmist: (Auri growl)
[personal profile] goldenmist
My nemesis was lying prone, apparently defenseless. I pinned it in place and held my weapon aloft, prepared to deliver a mortal wound.

"Haha!" I cried. "This shall be the end of you!"

The carrot, however, was wilier than I had realized. In my overconfidence, I was caught completely off-guard by its swift evasion, as it rolled out of the way of my deadly stroke. Gleaming steel slid along its surface, but failed to slice vegetable flesh. Instead it found purchase... in my thumb.

Thud! Slash! In that moment, the tide of battle had turned. Like floodwaters through a dry riverbed, blood spilled down the creases of my hand. But worse than the pain of my injury was the pain of my shame.

In that moment, I knew... the orange menace had won.

DAMN YOU, CARROT. Damn you to hell.

P.S. Owwwwwwwwww.

Date: 2011-01-26 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

But fear not, I am confident that some day you will feel ready to re-take the field!

Date: 2011-01-28 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If I do retake the field, I imagine it will be a long time from now. I have a long-standing feud with carrots, and normally don't allow them into the house. Or at least not in any form that I'd have to chop. =P

At least I'm up to date on my tetanus shots.

Date: 2011-01-26 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*slow claps* I'm marking this as my favorite post of the month, and I've posted of getting my birds back. :p

Date: 2011-01-28 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hm. Suffering defeat at the (metaphorical) hands of a root vegetable, or winning a victory against an organization with the ethics/common sense/empathy/[insert-virtue-here] of one? *

I think the return-of-the-tiels post is far, far better. :D

*Actually, this comparison is a bit unfair to the veggies. Carrots may be made of concentrated evil, but there are some things that even they won't stoop to. ;)

Date: 2011-01-28 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*snickers* Well, your post was written far better. So there. :p


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